In a bold attempt to meet a
projected budget shortfall next year, the Texas legislature met in
secret session today and agreed to sell the state’s naming rights to
carbon giant Exxon-Mobil for $1.2 billion. The state’s new name will be
“Texxon” effective January 1.
Texas governor Rick Perry was unavailable for comment following the renaming, but a staff spokesperson said the state’s only alternative was to raise taxes to cover the shortfall, adding that the governor “would rather be remembered as a business-friendly Texxon than a tax-jacking socialist.”
One state legislator confided off the record that the name change is “refreshing in its candor” and that it reflects “underlying realities that have been the bedrock of Texas politics for decades.”
Exxon-Mobil officials, on executive retreat in the Cayman Islands, declined comment, saying only that a gala celebration of the rebranding is planned to coincide with Texas Independence Day on March 2, soon to be renamed “Texxon Independence Day.” Tentative gala theme: “Everything’s great in the Petrostate!”
Naming rights will be reauctioned in 2020, when an undisclosed neighboring state is said to be considering a bid to rename the state “Baja Oklahoma.”
originally posted in Danagram on opensalon.com
Texas governor Rick Perry was unavailable for comment following the renaming, but a staff spokesperson said the state’s only alternative was to raise taxes to cover the shortfall, adding that the governor “would rather be remembered as a business-friendly Texxon than a tax-jacking socialist.”
One state legislator confided off the record that the name change is “refreshing in its candor” and that it reflects “underlying realities that have been the bedrock of Texas politics for decades.”
Exxon-Mobil officials, on executive retreat in the Cayman Islands, declined comment, saying only that a gala celebration of the rebranding is planned to coincide with Texas Independence Day on March 2, soon to be renamed “Texxon Independence Day.” Tentative gala theme: “Everything’s great in the Petrostate!”
Naming rights will be reauctioned in 2020, when an undisclosed neighboring state is said to be considering a bid to rename the state “Baja Oklahoma.”
originally posted in Danagram on opensalon.com
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